Goodbye
by LilyBelleMichele188
Summary: So as most ardent Glee Fans know Glee has recently aired an episode honoring the passing of one of its stars Cory Monteith who played Finn Hudson on the show. As a little tribute I wrote this one shot about how one of my Glee OCs, Allie Hudson deals with Finn's death among other issues that I sort of wove into the story as I wrote it. Hope you enjoy.


(So, I hate to admit but I've been stuck on my Glee stories. Partly due to my loss of interest in the show and partly due to the sudden death of Cory Monteith who played Finn, but then I ran into a clip on youtube from the new episode on Season 5 which was dedicated to Cory and had some inspiration to write this one shot. I hope you enjoy. Hopefully I'll be able to update on Here We Go Again and The Other Fabray soon. Love you all! This is for my readers)

"Noah?" Carole blinked as the sun hit her face, illuminating the tall figure standing in front of her, his worn out sneakers lightly scuffing the concrete porch steps.

"I came to say goodbye." He choked, taking a second to clear his throat before continuing. "I'm starting at the Air Force next week and...I want to say goodbye to Allie before I go...you know since she wasn't at the school today." His last words came out soft.

So soft Carole almost didn't hear him, but she did and more importantly she heard the emotion behind his words.

"She's in her room." The Mother made no move to let the boy in at first. "She's been in there ever since the call came in. No one's been able to talk to her except for Kurt." Carole felt her stomach tie itself into a knot again at the thought of her daughter.

The only one she had left. The only one who refused to go through their grief as a family. She hardly even paid attention to Elisabelle anymore and she hadn't even been like that when Puck told her it would be best if they went their seperate ways after graduation.

"I can talk to her." Puck tried to sound confident, but the break in his voice betrayed him almost instantly. "Please Mrs. H...you have to let my try." He pleaded while taking an involuntary step back from his ex's front door.

"We may not be together anymore, but I'll never forgive myself if I left and never made sure Allie was all right." His clenched his jaw to keep his chin from quivering, but the former jock felt his neck muscles twitch at the sudden well of emotions his words brought on.

Not just for Finn and the loss of his best friend, but for the girl both he and Finn cared about the most, despite what Puck had been telling himself ever since he and his Baby Mama had finally split ways following the commencement ceremony.

Carole looked at the ground. It was only a minute that she hesitated, but to Puck they felt like hours before the Mother finally nodded and slowly opened the door wider indicating for him to enter.

"You remember where her room is, right?" She asked without waiting for him to answer. Puck nodded and sharply took in a shallow breath of air before trudging into the house.

"I never forgot." He turned to look around the foyer and the living room as Carole quietly shut the door behind him and slid the dead bolt back into place.

Nothing had changed in the house save for the atmosphere. Puck heard the unmistakable whine of a power tool in the garage, telling him that Burt was in there probably still trying to work through his grief while going on with his life.

The only thing that physically marred the space was the rows upon rows of open cardboard boxes stuffed to the brim with all of the Quarterback's former belongings.

Looking at them made Puck wonder how many of Finn's old things Allie had insisted on keeping. Kurt had said she didn't want his letterman, or his game ball football.

She didn't even want his drums and that had puzzled Puck the most when Kurt told him why Allie wasn't at the memorial today.

Sighing he started to head for the stairs straining his ears for the sound of a child, when he felt a gentle yet shaking pair of hands grasp his shoulders. "Let me take your coat." Carole's tone was conversational, but Puck wasn't fooled by it.

Silently he allowed the still grieving Mother to take his jacket and swallowed hard before taking the first step up to Allison's bedroom.

There were no noises. No sounds to indicate that his daughter was here or that anyone was even up on the second floor of the house, but Puck did not stop his ascent.

Nor did he hesitate when he reached the familiar wooden door, still plastered with pictures of her friends and posters from all of Allie's favorite bands and broadway musicals.

_**KNOCK! KNOCK!**_

__Puck rapped gently twice on hollow wooden surface, taking a minute to look at all the photos Allie had assimilated since fifth grade.

There were obvious gaps on the door. Places where scuff marks from tape and sticky tack were still visible on the wood and Puck realized after scanning the collage for a minute that all the pictures of Finn were missing.

He frowned and started to reach for the spot right between the first glee club yearbook photo and the picture of Allie and Quinn in their cheerleading uniforms when the door suddenly opened.

Like Carole earlier, Allie didn't open her door wide. Just wide enough for Puck to see her face between the door and the door jamb and the sight of her was enough to make Puck feel like he was going to be sick.

"Noah?" Allie's voice came out as barely a whisper, raspy and hoarse like she'd spent all of the past week crying nonstop.

She was wearing nothing but an old t-shirt and a pair of worn out pajama bottoms that her face was extremely red and puffy especially around the eyes.

Her hair was a mess and Puck guessed she probably hadn't brushed it in days.

"Is that Finn's t-shirt?" He asked without thinking about and immediately felt dumb. Allie glared at him.

"You can't have it!" She started to close the door. Puck looked down at his feet. "That came out wrong!...I came to say goodbye." He blurted as the door slammed in his face.

He waited for her to respond for minute then continued when all he got was her silence. "I'm joining the air force...training starts next week so I won't be able to visit much anymore." He slowly looked up to look at all the pictures again.

"I know you probably don't want to see me and I get it...but I had to come." He stared at the door almost willing for Allie to open it again and listen to him.

"I couldn't leave knowing you're hurting...and I didn't do crap to make sure you were going to be all right." He looked down at his feet and shoved his hands deep into the pockets of his jeans before continuing.

"I love you Allie...even if you can't love me."

Silence.

Puck waited. He waited till the long hand on old hallway clock Finn always said reminded him of the stop clocks refs used at football games was at the six telling him that ten minutes had gone by.

Puck turned to leave. _Maybe it was a mistake coming here._ He thought feeling that all too familiar twinge hit him though the pit of his stomach as he lowered his right foot back onto the first step of the stair case.

He saw Carole again when he reached the first floor of house. Wordlessly he shook his head at her and reached deftly to his right to grab his motorcycle jacket from the couch before heading out the front door.

"I'm sorry." The words made Puck freeze in his tracks briefly. "It's not your fault." He mumbled, not recognizing the suddenly vulnerabilty he heard in his own voice as he pulled his jacket on and let himself out of the house.

...

"Jacket?"

"Check."

"Boots."

"Got em."

"Underclothes?"

"Ma!" The reprimand came out much sharper than he intended. Puck immediately felt bad for it even though his Mother hardly flinched at his harshness.

Heck, she was probably used to being snapped at by him by now.

"Sorry, that came out wrong." He muttered, turning to look for his phone amongst all the piles of clothes he had yet to put into his duffel to take to air force camp.

His Mother merely nodded and reached to help him start packing away. "I know." She murmured taking a deep yet shallow breath as carefully sorted through his belongings. "I know you're sorry." She sighed.

Puck frowned at that. "Do you?" He asked, and he felt himself really desiring an answer from his Mother. Something he never really wanted before when he argued with her.

Martha tightened her jaw. "Well...your Father never once apologized after we had one of our arguments...hearing it from you..makes me want to believe that I actually did something right with someone in my life." She set a stack underclothes into the bag.

Puck looked up at her,forgetting about his phone for a minute when he heard her sniffle and go uncomfortably rigid over his bedside.

"Ma..." He reached over to take her hand. "You've always done right by us. Ask Sarah! Ask me! Ever since that craphead dumped us on you, you did your best to steer us right and I know I haven't been doing you proud lately, but I promise from now on I'm going to do better. I owe it to you and to Finn to go and at least try and make something of good out of myself." He promised.

Martha sniffed and wiped a tear from her eye before turning to face her son. "You've already made me proud." She smiled despite herself and turned her hand over to grab his.

"And I know you'll keep making me proud...just promise me one thing." Puck raised an eyebrow. "What?"

"Don't get killed." Martha's tone was one of amusement, but Puck heard the tears building up behind her words.

He grinned impishly despite himself. "I won't." He started to chuckle a bit when Sarah burst into his room.

"Noah, it's for you." She held out his phone which had a missed call indicator still glowing on the screen.

Puck sighed at the grin she had on her face. "What were you doing with my phone?" He asked as he held out his hand. Sarah almost immediately handed over the device.

"I found it in the bathroom." She said with all the honesty of a ten year old. She put her hands into her pockets much like Puck often did when he felt awkward or closed in.

"Are you going to call her back?"

Puck started at her question. "What?"

"Allie! Are you going to call her back?...You haven't talked to her in awhile." Sarah shuffled her feet inching for the door when her Mother gave her a warning look.

Puck looked down at his phone. Allie's name blinked at him like the red light at the intersection he always ran.

Sighing he started to put his phone down when his Mom put her hand on his shoulder in a gesture that he knew from experience meant stop.

"Noah, call her back...I know it's going to be hard, but I think it's best if you two talk now before you leave for the year." She kissed the side of his head then turned to leave the room.

Puck looked back at his phone. "Sarah?" Martha looked at her younger child pointedly and the girl sighed before turning to follow her lead. "Yes Ma."

Puck waited until he heard the door close securely behind his Mother, then he unlocked his phone and pressed the return call button.

"Hey." Allie almost sounded normal. So normal, Puck was almost worried she'd gone off the deep end. "Allie?"

"Yeah...listen I'm sorry about the other day. It was rude and no matter what I shouldn't have talked to you like that." There was a pause. Puck sighed when she didn't continue.

"It's all right I know you're going through a lot...Kurt said it didn't really seem to hit you till this week." He played with a bit of loose string on his shorts as he talked.

"My Mom said you're about to leave for the Air Force tonight." Allie continued sounding tired and hesitant as she spoke.

Puck nodded his head. "Yeah..." He looked at his feet.

"Well...do you think you can come down and meet me before you go?...Maybe six o clock at my place?" Her voice cracked.

Puck swallowed hard. "Sure." He ran a hand through his short dark hair. "I'll be there." He promised.

He waited for her response.

"Good." Allie seemed pleased. "Bye Noah." The line disconnected, but it took Puck an extra minute before he could do the same.

...

"Oh, it's you." Burt's tone implied neither happiness or resentment at Puck's presence on his front doorstep, however unlike Carole he did not hesitate to open the door for him.

"Come on in. She's in the backyard with Kurt." He nodded towards the kitchen and Puck nodded slipping his jacket off before Burt could the close the door.

"Thanks Mr. Hummel." He set the jacket on the couch and walked across the living room to the kitchen where Carole was fixing dinner.

She looked up and smiled sadly at him before returning her attention back to her salad mold.

Puck smiled back and let himself out through the back door. Just as Burt said, Allie was there sitting under the big oak tree with Kurt sitting next to her talking though he was too far away to hear what he was saying to her.

Puck smiled a bit when he saw the girl again, her long brown hair blowing gently in the breeze and her cheeks glowing in the late afternoon sunlight though of course she looked unhappy. Kurt looked up first when he heard him approach.

"He's here." Puck heard him whisper to Allie before he got up, brushing off his trousers before heading back to the house.

Puck turned to exchange glances with him before quickly returning his attention to Allie. "Hey."

Allie looked up at his greeting. "Hey." She tried to smile at him. Puck sighed and turned to assume Kurt's vacated spot under the tree.

"You wanted to see me?" He asked not looking at her at first. Allie nodded her head. "Yeah...earlier you were trying to talk to me...and I was too angry and hurt to listen." She stopped playing with the dandelion in her hand.

"How was the memorial?" Her chin quivered.

Puck frowned. "It was all right. Nothing special." He shrugged and reached to pull some grass out. "Mr. Schue and Coach Beiste asked about you though." He murmured.

Allie bit her lip. "I just couldn't do it..." She muttered crushing the flower between her fingers. "Being there...where there are so many memories..." She drew her knees up to her chest and laid her head down on top of her knee caps.

Puck nodded his head. "Yeah I get it." He dug his nails into the dirt. "Still...it would have been nice if you came and...presented a little tribute or something for your brother. A lot of people looked up to him." He tightened his jaw.

Allie shook her head. "I know...that's why I couldn't do it, Noah...He was my brother." She muttered clenching her fists hard enough to draw blood from her palms.

Puck stop pulling at the grass.

"What does that mean?" He asked turning to face her.

Allie shook her head. "I don't know...I don't know!" She broke down suddenly. The dandelion floated out of her hand and the wind picked up instantly.

"Hey..." Puck put a comforting hand over her shoulders, but Allie shook her head. "You don't know what it's like, Puck!...No one does! I wasn't old enough to understand when my Dad died, so for me Finn _was_ my Dad! Even after Burt came into our lives it was always Finn I went to!...Finn who seemed to know how make everything all right again."

She took a deep breath.

"When we broke up, Finn dragged me off the couch and made me play football with him in the yard." She looked up as if the memory were replaying before her on some invisible holo video screen.

"I didn't want to, but he said it would help if I ran off some steam and...pretended the football was your head." She laughed bitterly at the last part.

Puck frowned. "And when I got pregnant...before he found out you were the Father Finn did everything he could to help me get ready for what was to come." Allie sniffed and used her wrist to wipe her nose.

"I'm never going to have someone like that again...even if I do meet someone who's decent and could take care of me while being a good Father to Lizzie." She scowled at the ground.

Puck sighed. "You're right." He bent and picked up the dandelion Allie had dropped. "We're never going to know someone like Finn ever again..." He started to peel off the petals.

"He may have been an idiot sometimes but...he was one heck of a dude." He let the petals go in the breeze.

Allie took a deep breath. "What do you think he might be doing right now?...You know, up there?" She motioned with her head towards the sky.

Puck followed her gaze. "I don't know..." He shrugged. "Maybe playing some football, eating a grilled cheese...he's probably thinking about you and Kurt a lot. Rachel too." He added reluctantly.

Allie nodded her head. "Yeah, I bet she was a mess today...I called and invited her to come over for dinner tonight. I figured we could all use some closeness together after this week." She licked her lips.

Puck nodded at that. "Yeah, we're all pretty messed right now...some more than others." He stood to make his way back across the yard, dropping the empty flower stem on his way.

"Puck!" Allie stood and called after him. Puck stopped. "My flight leaves in two hours." He mumbled.

Allie nodded her head. "I know...can you stay for a little bit longer though? There's something I want to show you." She stood and brushed the dirt and grass from her lap.

Puck hesitated. "Are you sure?"

"Of course I am...I've been wracking my brains all week trying to figure out what to do with it and...I think I just figured out what my decision is." Allie smiled again only this time it seemed more genuine than forced.

Puck smiled back. "Okay." He agreed.

...

"Careful, I haven't cleaned anything in weeks, and there's still a lot of Finn's stuff here that needs to be moved." Allie warned as she led Puck into her bedroom where various items were scattered around the floor.

Puck just nodded as he stepped over a box which was full of photos and other particles of Finn's parafinelia that Puck knew Allie had salvaged before the rest of her family packed his things for charity donation.

"It's okay my room's worse." He lied and seated himself on Allie's bed without being asked. Allie turned and walked to her desk.

"My Mom really wanted to give everything away...but this I couldn't part with right away." She reached under a shelf and pulled out a small dirty, worn out football that was just the right side to fit into her hand.

Puck raised his eyebrows. "He still had that?" He asked amazed. "I lost mine a long time ago."

Allie nodded her head. "Yeah...he was going to take it with him to college, but I didn't let him. I told him people were going to laugh if they knew he brought his old pee wee prize with him to the dorm." She held the football to her chest for a minute before bringing it over to Puck.

"I want you to take it now, since it will probably mean more to you than to me. Maybe it could be a reminder for you while you're at Air Force camp." She offered it to him.

Puck shook his head. "No Allie, I can't. That should belong to you! I can't take that!" He protested. Allie wouldn't hear it. "I already have everything I need of him. Pictures!..." She motioned to the box.

"I also took more than my share of his old t-shirts before my Mom could get at them. Plus I have this." She touched the army dog tag necklace she was wearing around her neck.

"Take it Puck. For Finn if not for me. I know he would have wanted you to have it too." She closed his fingers over the ball the pulled her hands away.

Puck let out a sigh. "I'll take good care of it." He promised standing from the bed after awhile. Allie smiled and followed him to the door.

"Noah?"

Puck paused halfway across the room. "Do you want to say goodbye to Elisabelle?" She asked.

Puck smiled at that. "Do you have to ask?"

...

"Daddy!" Elisabelle eagerly leaped into Puck's arms almost before he was ready as he and Allie peeked into the three year old's bedroom.

"Hey Squirt." Puck gave her a big warm hug before kissing her on the side of the head. "You gonna be good for your Mama while I'm gone?" He asked and confusion instantly replaced the smile on the little toddler's face.

"You're going away?" She asked and Allie felt her heart twinge at the sadness she heard in her daughter's voice.

Puck nodded. "Yes Lizzie, I'm going to be away for awhile so I need you to be good and take care of your Mommy for me until I come back, got it?" He gently stroked her hair.

Elisabelle shook her head. "I don't want you to go!..Uncle Finn is gone that made Mommy and me sad!..I no want to be sad no more!" She pouted and stuck out her lower lip.

Puck felt his heart crumble at his daughter's words, but he convinced himself to stay strong. "I don't want you to be sad either, Sweetheart but Daddy's not going to be gone like Uncle Finn is. I'm going to come back one day so I can take you out for ice cream again." He smiled and gave the little girl a little shake.

"Think you can wait for me, Baby Girl?" He asked hopefully, knowing his little girl was as strong as her Mother was even as young as she was.

Elisabelle acted like she had to think about it for a minute. "Can we get chocolate ice cream when you come back?" She asked. Allie smothered a laugh.

Puck chuckled and ruffled up the little girl's hair affectionately. "Of course we can. I'll even let you get some oreo bits. How does that sound?" He asked grinning as he got up so he was no longer kneeling in front of his daughter.

Elisabelle grinned. "I want gummy bears!" She looked at her Father pointedly and Allie smiled a bit seeing how much she looked like Puck when she did that.

"Gummy bears it is then!" Puck agreed and turned to face Allie. "I better go now." He whispered so Liz wouldn't hear.

Allie frowned a bit. "Can I have a hug first?" She asked softly. Puck hesitated. "Um I thought we were-."

"We are, but there's no rule against hugging your friend goodbye, is there?" Allie cut him off and raised her eyebrow. Puck sighed.

"I guess not." He held out his arms and Allie inched forward into his embrace laying her head against his chest right where his heart beat.

Puck cradled her head against his chest. "Take care of yourself, okay Allie? If it ever gets too hard, just give me a call. I'll answer." He whispered and Allie picked her head up from his torso.

"You be careful too. If you shoot yourself on your first day I swear I will kick your lousy Lima back side all over the state of Ohio." She threatened with very little humor to her tone.

Puck nodded his head. "I'll keep that in mind." He smirked and pulled away from the hug. He silently slipped through the door of the nursery to leave the house.

Allie lingered at the door.

"Mommy?" Elisabelle asked softly after Allie heard the front door of the house slam shut after him. "Do you still love Daddy?" She asked like she did almost every night when Puck would leave or drop her off after spending his day with her.

Usually Allie would just answer yes carelessly without giving much thought to her answer. Elisabelle was still young after all and wasn't ready in her opinion to understand the complicated relationship Allie and Puck shared since they broke up junior year.

This time though, Allie couldn't bring herself to be halfhearted about her answer. "Yes Lizzie, I do. I still love your Daddy very much." She wiped at her eye and for the first time in a long time. She knew...she meant it.

"Mommy?...Can we go see Uncle Finn? I want to tell him about Daddy." Elisabelle continued. Allie was unable to ignore the hopefulness in her tone.

"Sure Lizzie. Go find your shoes and a jacket and we'll go right before Rachel gets here." She smiled. She knew how much her daughter adored Rachel.

Something she didn't fully understand yet even though the two girls had become better friends since they graduated and her late brother's girlfriend moved in with Kurt in New York.

"Yay!" Lizzie smiled back and raced to her closet. Allie turned to leave the room. _I'm going to try Finn._ She looked down to stroke the dog tags and traced the engraving of Finn's name with her thumb.

_I'm going to try real hard._


End file.
